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Joke of the Day

"This morning I... changed a lightbulb, then I walked across the street so I could walk into a bar, and then is suddenly realized: my life is a joke."

"If A Tree Falls Down In The Woods... But no one is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist? Because he was sketchy."

"Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?"

"What do women and hand grenades have in common? When you pull the ring off, your house goes away"

"Noble gases are safe from the Fine Brothers. They never react."

"A man only wearing saran wrap pants... Walks into his doctors office. The doctor says: ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts."""

"I don't appreciate the trash talking Chinese athletes saying ""we OWN you!"" to the U.S. team. Let's leave our deficit out of this!"

"Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me: I didn't do... Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody Me: These are my regular clothes"

"A tattered rope walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey, are you a lasso?"" The rope replies, ""Sorry, I'm a frayed knot."""