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Joke of the Day

"A man only wearing saran wrap pants... Walks into his doctors office. The doctor says: ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts."""

"I think my girlfriend is starting to gain weight. She's starting to fit into my wife's clothes."

"""Give it to me,""She begged. ""I'm so wet! Give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"We all have that one friend who thinks they can sing...and if you can't think of who, that friend is you."

"If your Prius was a transformer his name would be Fagatron"

"What is Whitney Houston's favorite coordination? HAND-EYYYYEEEEE-EEEE-IIIII!!!"

"Well i thinks it's safe to say there will be no Turkey for Christmas this year"

"Twitter Clique: (n) a small exclusive group of friends who promise to tell each other they are funny."

"Register for a new blender on your baby registry. It drowns out the crying and makes margaritas. You're welcome."

"Mary Had a Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Little Lamb. Maybe she wasn't that hungry."