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Joke of the Day

"LASSIE: Arf! What's that girl? Timmy's in the old well? L: Arf arf He's dead? You sure? L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash"

"Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? - Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you."

"What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears"

"- Judy, you have such a great taste! - Steve, stop biting me!"

"someone just asked ""how do u delete yo life"" U CHEW ON A GRENADE WIT THE PIN OUT"

"Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock... [who's there] Not sally"

"If my love life was a movie it would be Demolition Man... ...starring Sylvester Still-alone."

"What's the opposite of the constitution? The prostitution."

"Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them they are going to invade Iran."

"What do women call men under 6 inches? Friends."