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Joke of the Day

"I am so glad that I poop in a toilet, rather than a bag. Given that I did that for 14 months of my life, perspective is a nice thing."

"Just moved out on my own and am doing really well... All my bills say im outstanding"

"I contacted and arranged for a meet with an undercover FBI agent to show my skills in deduction and reasoning.. Unfortunately,a 14 yr old girl showed up at the coffee shop"

"[warning: Dad joke] What country has the most internet crimes? E-gypt"

"Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs."

"Can Bernie Sanders recover? From his devastating win in Michigan?"

"Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just... not Yeti."

"One thing that watching cartoons have taught us. Gravity only works if you look down."

"If batman and catwoman had a kid it would be batcat or the less popular manwoman."

"We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food ""Are you nuts?"" Dear God"