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Joke of the Day

"Microsoft has realized that all their products get better PR by naming it after Halo mythology. I'm expecting the next Windows version to be Windows 117."

"If you're giving me directions and you say, ""Head north,"" I'm going to think you mean toward the sky."

"KNOCK KNOCK Who's there, Howard, Howard who? Howard you wanna suck these nuts. Also works with: Wendy you wanna suck these nuts Jorge come suck these nuts"

"A blonde walks into a bar... Ouch"

"I think women are fantastic Every man should own several!"

"Build a man a fire... and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"I woke up with just my arm in hospital Hospital is a weird name for a dog"

"What's so cool about cemeteries? I don't get it. People are dying to get in them."

"They say I have a drinking problem. All I have been trying to do is drain the liquor down the toilet. Through my body."

"Breadmakers Always looking to prove something."