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Joke of the Day

"My dad says he donates to the African water charities Because he's got a well paying job."

"I do have a life outside of Facebook, but I don't remember the password for it."

"This morning I found out the terrible news about David Bowie, He released a new album."

"I eat slowly, so I can't ever live in Moscow. Everyone's Russian there."

"I hate double standards. If a baby crawls around, it's ""adorable,"" but if I do, I'm ""causing a disturbance"" and ""need to leave""? Whatever."

"WANTED: Someone to have my babies and carry on my family name. No strings attached. You can even keep the kids."

"A female weight lifter went to the doctor ""Doc, I've been takin steroids for a few years now and as a side effect, I've grown a Penis"" ""Anabolic""? Asked the doctor. ""Nope just a Penis"" she replied."

"My wife wanted to get a cat. I really didn't want one, so after a lot of discussions, we reached a compromise: we're getting a cat."

"Q: What did the nurse say to John Cena? A: ICU."

"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate."