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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe in hitting my children as punishment... So I send them to school in a Justin Beiber shirt and Crocs and let the other kids beat them instead"

"What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler"

"What should you do when a bull charges you? Pay him"

"You know what is ironic about Whitney Houston dying in her bath tub? She was taking swimming lessons at that time"

"Want to hear an ebola joke? you wont get it"

"Look all I'm saying is Harry Potter could have defeated Voldemort much faster with the use of drones"

"I was trying to make a text art dinosaur today. I can't ever get the teeth right. I only seem to be able to do them ASCII-dentally."

"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"

"If not at Bed Bath & Beyond, WHERE CAN I BUY A BED BATH?"

"What's it called when two strains of a disease are identical? plague-arism"