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Joke of the Day

"Look all I'm saying is Harry Potter could have defeated Voldemort much faster with the use of drones"

"Do you think clouds look down on us and think, that ones shaped like an idiot."

"Rules for a happy relationship 1. The wife is always right. 2. If the wife is wrong, see rule number 1. i know it's an old joke but it's my favorite"

"*Flips over cards* It was your TC in the KIK room with the retweeter."

"I'm good now. I pretended the vegetables I was chopping were actually people. It helped."

"If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once."

"I'm texting hubs a grocery list one item at a time so he can experience his phone blowing up"

"Why was the redneck on his Iphone at his sister's funeral...? He was changing his relationship status to single. Dahurpy durp Dahurpy Durp Da dUrpy durp."

"What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common? They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it."

"Did you here about that original joke? Neither did I."