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Joke of the Day

"So apparently not every chubby guy with a mustache is named Mario. My bad, dad."

"I'm a prince in Lagos, Nigeria and I want you to help me move $500 million out of the country."

"What did fish say when she hit the wall ? Dam(n) !!!"

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""

"Why did the man cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"CPR is a lot like church... CPR is a lot like church: you go up, down, up, down, up, down. The only difference is that you don't get snacks in CPR."

"Where does food go when Palpatine eats it? In Sidious!"

"How to make a grown man cry. Take him shopping with you."

"Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases it is damned near impossible."

"What kind of cheese gives out money? Prova*loan* I just came up with that and feel pretty proud (:"