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Joke of the Day

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""

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"hello and welcome to Fantasy Football *Dumbledore passes ball to Frodo* *Gandalf intercepts football and eats it*"
"What is Australian cuisine called? Prison Food Source: 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown"
"What do you call it when you poop and masturbate at the same time? Two turds with one bone"
"A beautiful woman is walking down the street..... A man says to her ""can I smell your pussy?"" She shouts ""No!"" He replies ""Oh, It must be your asshole."""
"He was like, 'We're all slowly dying' So I was like, 'WRONG' and I threw him in front of a moving bus."
"Knock knock. Who's there? A cow. A cow who? Not a cow ""who""! A cow moos. An owl says ""who""."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8, 9/11 was an inside job"
"""Grandpa, grandpa! Tell us again about the time you whittled a 189 character idea down to a perfect 140 character tweet!"""
"Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time ? Son: Easy. I have two ears!"
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