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Joke of the Day

"What did fish say when she hit the wall ? Dam(n) !!!"

"What do you call a Chinese Podiatrist? Hee Lan To"

"Why do Nuns always wear Black & White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have."

"[at funeral] ""my phone is vibrating"" want me to create a distraction so you can answer it? ""no, are you craz- *points at casket* HE BLINKED"

"I'd never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with."

"You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey.. That's just Hawaii roll."

"Turn that baby's cry into a jazzy tune by putting a harmonica in it's mouth"

"I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it."

"Why was the baby elf sad? Because he was Legolas"

"""We have to get together sometime!"" is a great way of saying, ""I regret running into you."""