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Joke of the Day

"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."

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"What did Jack Frost say at his climax? ""Winter is coming"""
"What do you call an alligator with a vest? An Investigator!"
"""If you gaze long into a bisque, the bisque also gazes into you."" - Philosophical soup kitchen chef"
"Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo. Men 1952: I just fixed the roof. Men 2016: I just shaved my legs."
"What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the party? ""Namaste"""
"And Lord said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came 5th... He got a toaster"
"How do you make a journalist laugh? By giving them ar-ticles!"
"How many potatoes does it take to kill 1 million Irish? None."
"This is so embarrassing, what's your name again? - me, the first 30 times I meet everyone"