167983

Joke of the Day

"Me: We do *not* spit on our classmates! 5YO: Well, who DO we spit on, then? I miss the funny stuff my kids said when they were little."

"I've never panned for gold... But I have put bacon bits in my salad."

"Did you hear about the bloke who tried to kiss his girlfriend in the fog and mist."

"Useful information: don't turn around if a woman throws a shoe at your back. Because more than likely the other one is in mid flight."

"please tell me that when we defeat ISIS they will have to become WASWAS"

"(NSFW) It's been just over 10 years since we lost the Crocodile Hunter. He was a man of morals that died the same way that he lived... With animals in his heart."

"Blonde joke of the day Q: What is the difference between a blonde, and a rooster? A: A rooster says cockadooledoooo, a blonde says, anycockwill"

"Women are like guns keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it."

"Jejunum? I hardly know him"

"Which fly captured the ladybird? The dragon-fly."