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Joke of the Day

"What is the main position candidate Jim Webb is campaigning on? Debate time reform."

"One out of every ten people lives next to a pedophile... ...not me, I live next to two beautiful 8 year olds."

"I follow my mother's advice and make little things count... Although I'm not sure if she meant me teaching midgets math."

"High cholesterol food will always have a special place in my heart."

"I wrote a college paper about government agencies slowly encroaching on internet privacy. It's called ""NSA: An Essay."""

"9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad"

"What do you call a bear that is missing all of its teeth?? A Gummy Bear!"

"""I'm sorry but it's only 7 items or less in the dressing rooms"" [octopus glove shopping] ""this is unacceptable"""

"Poke joke Knock knock? who's there? Shaymin. Shaymin who? Shame in you!"

"Prince: ""The slipper fits! You're the girl I met!"" Girl: ""I wasn't even at the ball. This is a common shoe size."" Prince: ""YOU'RE THE GIRL!"""