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Joke of the Day

"[sees kid crying in the mall] ""What's wrong?"" ""I'm lost."" ""You're in the mall you little idiot."""

"All You Need to Know about Explosives by Dinah Mite"

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"When I realized my boyfriend said we should 'break up' & not 'break dance', I was sad, but also relieved."

"My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys I have to make every second Count"

"Knock knock new fone who dis"

"All things in moderation. Unless no one's looking."

"DOCTOR: Your leg is broken ME: So what happens now? D: We put in a cast & it'll recover naturally HORSE: [sticks head round curtain] WHAT?!!"

"Why do pedophiles love Old Navy sales? Cause all the kid's clothes are 60% off."

"Ex-lax Did you know that all boxes of Ex-lax have been recalled? You can't buy Ex-lax anywhere. Really..I'm not shittin'."