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Joke of the Day

"[airport] ""you should have used a tag"" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS"

"What does r/The_Donald call its rule list? The MAGA Carta"

"I fucked a girls butthole."

"The NYPD only does no-knock jokes."

"Umm Leo, there has been a mistake... Steve Harvey wrote the cards."

"What happens when the smog/fog/smoke over Los Angeles lifts? You see L.A."

"Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."

"A guy asked me what I was doing in the wardrobe. I told him, 'Narnia Business'."

"*sees a hot girl on the train* ""ay gurl check this out"" *i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*"

"Every time I use hand sanitizer I wonder about the 0.1% of bacteria that isn't killed. What the hell kind of scary shit is that?"