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Joke of the Day

"Two guys walk into a bar... Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks. (Dad Joke)"

"I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method."

"I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts."

"Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas refrigerators."

"Almost every branch of science has a pseudoscience associated with it: chemistry and alchemy, astronomy and astrology, math and economics..."

"Where do Pixar employees go for Happy Hour? CGI Friday's."

"If pirates say ""Arr"", What do software pirates say? .RAR"

"So a man comes into a bar... No wait it was a horse! So a man comes into a horse..."

"I'm single by choice. Just not my choice."

"So what do you think? New hair? No Shoes? No Bag? No Pants? No * 3 days later watching TV OMG u rearranged the living room - Men"