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Joke of the Day

"Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas refrigerators."

"Why are elephants no good at Net surfing? Because they're scared of the mouse."

"It's 2015. I can't believe we're still referring to a dress as colored."

"Why do Republicans make good DJs? Because they know how to shut the House down."

"What is green and smells like pork? Kermits finger..."

"Elephant Hunter I used to hunt elephant but had to quit.. Carrying the decoys got to heavy."

"My local grocery store has a special deal going on at the self scan aisle, buy one get like 30 free."

"Q: How many believable competent ""just right for the job"" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it?"

"[commercial] WOMAN: have u ever wondered what would happen if a car alarm could swim? NARRATOR: geese"

"Hillary and Donald are just like Joker and Harley Quinn... A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys"