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Joke of the Day

"I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home I found out that all the pages are blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them."

"What do Batman films and religious farms have in common? They may have a Christian Bale in them."

"I had a joke about Jonestown, But the punchline was too long."

"HEY DISNEY: If Cinderella's shoe fit so perfectly, why'd it fall off? Yeah, time to do some critical thinking."

"Car next to me in liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has SEVEN kids. I better get in there quick! She's gonna buy it all."

"What did Mr. Orange say to Anna Banana when she asked what his first name was in rhyme world? Fuck off"

"Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years? A: Somebody dropped a shekel."

"Q: What walks on four legs in the morning, two at noon & three at night? A: The bloodthirsty shapeshifter who hides among us. Trust no one."

"The rotation of earth Really makes my day."