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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years? A: Somebody dropped a shekel."

"I was looking at a cup of Earl Grey that always replenishes itself.. It was like staring into infinitea."

"The EU is like a box of chocolates; Nobody likes the Turkish."

"I just got diagnosed with the inability to feel emotions Now I'm sad"

"I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager. It's amazing what you can find on eBay."

"Ice Bank Mice Elf (repeat this 10 times fast)"

"I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you."

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior"

"How does clickbait work? Just grab this electrical cable. Then what happens? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!!!"

"Police are looking for a man who refuses to update his PDF reader. He is described as 32, single and has no fixed adobe."