105247

Joke of the Day

"Why did the rooster cross the road? To go to the toilets, where all the cocks hang out"

"That ONE time In class you raise your hand, and some motherfucker screams out the answer."

"Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust... Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust, exclaiming: ""I can't believe it's February and I'm still writing B.C. on all of my checks!"""

"Why did Thor not invite many people to his brother's wedding? Because it was Low key"

"Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?"

"I hosted a debate between ""Safe Space"" advocates and critics The safe space advocates didn't show up and called for my resignation."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? ...right where you put it."

"Two cows are standing on a hill.... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"" The other replies, ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"""

"So many people want to hit me for my jokes, they have to stand in a punch line."

"Did you hear about the Mexican racist? He joined the que que que."