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Joke of the Day

"Two cows are standing on a hill.... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"" The other replies, ""Why should I care? I'm a helicopter!"""

"Impatient means she's restlessly eager, inpatient means she lives in a mental hospital... Learned that one the hard way."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot"

"*Approaches girl at bar* Brain: Say you like her eyes. No, hair. Actually, go for eyes! Me: You have lovely hairy eyes Brain: My bad."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs? Because, he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken."

"A dyslexic person walks into a bra."

"Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids."

"Roses are red. Wine is red. Poems are hard. Wine."

"Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication."

"What does the German wheat farmer say to his wife in the morning? Gluten Morgen!"