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Joke of the Day

"Football joke How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn? Paint an endzone on it."

"Did you know that Stevie Wonder has seven kids? He never sees them though."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked the problem out with a pencil."

"Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine."

"I like bald eagles. They taste almost just like baby seals."

"Mom: When I was your age I never had sex Me: Mom, I'm 32 Mom: Exactly"

"Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend either the car is new or the girlfriend is."

"How do you gently wake up a sleeping baby? Don't preheat the oven when you bake it."

"What's blue and doesn't fit any more? A dead epileptic."

"So I was eating out this girl one time... And then I tasted horse cum, and said ''Grandma that's how you died''"