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Joke of the Day

"So I was eating out this girl one time... And then I tasted horse cum, and said ''Grandma that's how you died''"

"The day I realized my cursing had gotten out of hand. ... was when I dropped the soap in the prison shower and screamed, ""Fuck me right in the ass!"""

"I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad."

"I patented a new bullet that will kill 2 deer at once You get more buck for your bang!"

"My article on chickens was very well received. It might win the pullet-ser prize."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger"

"Instagram's down? What am I supposed to do with my cat? Stroke it?"

"I kissed a grill once. It was pretty hot."

"What do terrorists and the England football team have in common? They will never win"

"PSA for vacationing families: Don't let your kids play PokemonGo at Disney. They'll get eaten by wild Feraligatrs."