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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked the problem out with a pencil."

"My attorney's sole responsibility after I die will be to unfriend people that post anything about angels on my wall."

"I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small."

"I caught my girl cheating with my best friend on my new leather couch... Of course I yelled at him.. He's not allowed on the couch. (Made this one up this morning.. Still playing with the wording)"

"Mom said I should only date ""a good man"" and I was like HEAVENS TO BETSY I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEFORE NOW."

"You don't really know someone until you get drunk with them"

"I think my baby might be gay He cries when I take the pacifier out of his butt"

"How do you study for a prostate exam? By cramming."

"A car says a lot about the owner. I have a KIA which tells people I have bad credit."

"Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing."