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Joke of the Day

"Unicorns are extinct because they weren't horny enough. mind=blown"

"Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets."

"A baby seal walks into a club. ...while two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bah-dum-tsssssss."

"Inception [2010, Psychological thriller] a group of people fall asleep - 148 mins"

"Did you know Lysol kills 99.9% of germs & my toothpaste has tartar control? You would too if you sat in my bathroom without your phone."

"It's so cold that the local flasher was caught *describing* himself to women."

"What's the fastest way to get away from Hell? Piss off Satan's wife."

"Did you know that camels aren't indigenous to Australia? They were shipped there by the British. Oddly enough, so were the Australians."

"Police Officer: How high are you? Drug addict: No officer, it's Hi how are you?"

"My girlfriend is really loud during sex. I don't know why, she knows nobody is coming to help her."