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Joke of the Day

"Hey Young Girls, when a first date suggests you two go to ""your place"", take him to Target."

"Statistically, you're more likely to be killed, raped or robbed by a black person than other races. This isn't really funny, it's a PSA."

"""What aisle has the milk?"" ""Sir, this is a library."" *whispers* ""What aisle has the milk?"""

"ME: can u pick me up in ur claws DRAGON: go AWAY dammit ME: can u just put me in ur mouth plsI wanna look out from ur teeth like im in jail"

"I really gotta quit drinking. Last night I got so wasted I blew chunks for hours... Chunks is my 4 year old bulldog."

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of the silent P."

"I used to play hard to get until I realized that I was hard to want"

"I'm a theist I would be atheist, but I left a space for God."

"Why did the german die from his injuries Because when his friend asked if there is a number to call incase of emergencies like this, he replied ""999""."