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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste"

"An atom loses an electron... It says, ""man, I really gotta keep an ion them."" Edit: RIP inbox, nearly thought Reddit Au was coming Edit 2: First Reddit au! Thanks kind stranger!"

"My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science."

"I've got a 100 question vocab quiz this friday on 9/11... Well I guess I'm gonna bomb it"

"*First day as drug dealer* *Giggles* ""coke isn't available, is Pepsi ok?"" *gets stabbed*"

"Third grade Why did the blonde have the biggest boobs in the third grade? She was 23."

"FUN FACT: Teens in the late 1800s sent/received an average of 75 telegrams a day."

"Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast ? Because she wants to rise and shine."

"I like to eat at Brazilian restaurants because there will be no hair in the food"

"What did the japanese chef do after he dishonored the emperor? Commit sushi"