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Joke of the Day

"ME: can u pick me up in ur claws DRAGON: go AWAY dammit ME: can u just put me in ur mouth plsI wanna look out from ur teeth like im in jail"

"I'm speechless Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Why did the football coach go to Aldi? To get his quarter back!"

"Please don't post a screenshot if your battery percentage is low, I can't focus on the picture because your low battery is stressing me out."

"Which insect didn't play well in goal? The fumble bee!"

"New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I'll decide what is ""fresh"" and ""natural"" and ""like a real girl"" thank you very much"

"Racist jokes my dad told me Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza A pizza can feed a family"

"TIFU by being King of the jungle. Lololol I am Lion"

"What do the elderly eat? Dementos"

"What cheese is not yours? Not your cheese...."