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Joke of the Day

"My ex sent me a picture to remind of what I'm giving up. I sent her a picture of my new girl so she knows I don't give a f*ck..."

"I was straining on the toilet this morning. ""Where's the fucking sieve?"" asked my wife."

"Two redditors walk into a bar, you won't believe what happens next! Seriously. I knew you'd click it."

"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty."

"No, not bisexual, I said beesexual. I fuck bees."

"If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today... The solar system would need more planets for the title."

"Hey Buzzfeed, the only way my beard is 2% feces... ...is if I just finished eating 98% of the pussy."

"A girl walks to his boyfriend and says.... I have some good news and some bad news, and I'm gonna tell you both at the same time. Amongst all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

"What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony"

"Bum at the bus stop, lady walks up with dress up her crack, bum discretely pulls it out, lady slaps him, [hand gesture pushing it back into crack]"