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Joke of the Day

"If your girlfriend says she's going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall... You might be dating my wife."

"two lesbians Lesbian 1: ""Hey! I finally found your dido!"" Lesbian 2: ""Great! I knew you had it in you!"""

"My wife said to me she wanted to go somewhere fancy.... ""somewhere where they serve from the left!"" she demanded, so I took her through the drive-thu."

"What would Anakin Skywalker's sith name be, if Luke was black? Dearth Vader"

"Cats love it when you give them a mohawk"

"A cop pulled me over and said ""papers"". I said, ""scissors, I win"" and drove off."

"A dop Ted Father : Son, do we have any dop ted? Son : What's a dop ted? Father : You are. You're adopted. Son : Nice one dad. Father : I'm not your dad."

"What's little, brown, and found in the woods? Winnies' pooh."

"What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, pick any cod."

"Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer is my favorite song about how to incorrectly deal with the loss of a loved one during the holiday"