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Joke of the Day

"90% of her body A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts."

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"Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims."
"I just tried to woo Stephen Hawking. But I don't think I pushed the right buttons."
"Today is National Pasta Day I have a friend that would have loved today, but sadly she's pastaway"
"Daughter: Dad, can I have some Kit Kat for my snack tonight? Me: Absolutely not D: Why? M: Because I said so D: Because you ate them? M: Yes"
"How do you get a nun pregnant? You dress her up as a choirboy."
"911: What's your emergency? THE BARISTO IS HAVING A STROKE 911: Barista? IT'S A GUY. BARISTO 911: No, it's still- Nm he's dead now"
"Why did Pee Wee Herman win the annual bass fishing contest? Experts say it's because he was a master baiter."
"I'm angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday"
"How can you tell that a straight pin is confused? Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other."