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Joke of the Day

"Daughter: Dad, can I have some Kit Kat for my snack tonight? Me: Absolutely not D: Why? M: Because I said so D: Because you ate them? M: Yes"

"Why can't the band Def Leppard make music anymore? They all lost their hearing"

"Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface."

"And then the doctor says... Now, what did I do with my pen?"

"How do you organize a party in space? You Planet"

"Why did.. Q : Why did Manchester United go to Stamford Bridge? A : Four Nothing"

"If Trump wins the election and replaces President Obama... ...orange will be the new black."

"2 married mathematicians have fratenal twins They name the boy Adam, and the girl Subtractam"

"(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John."

"I have an outstanding warrant for loitering. *I don't know why my brain thought this was the funniest joke to replay during my sleep this morning but it made me wake up giggling."