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Joke of the Day

"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they spot a young boy on the other side. The priest says, ""Hey! Let's go fuck him!"" The rabbi thinks for a second and asks, ""Out of what?"""

"What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino? The Nobel Prize in Genetics."

"Wife has been adding a little baby oil to her baths, which is cool because I have always wanted to quickly be laying down in the shower."

"Festive Fact: Women who put on weight over the festive period are 98% more likely to live longer than their partners who point it out."

"Me: Have fun on your date. Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high? Me: You really aren't my kid are you?"

"Which president was famous for his long pauses? Ellipsis S. Grant."

"I keep getting told I'm a terrible mailman.. Oops I've posted this in the wrong place"

"There are six American flags on the Moon. Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now. So it looks like the French landed there."

"The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son."

"What would Donald Trump do if he doesn't win the election? He'll start his own brand of ""Government"""