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Joke of the Day

"If you were a prisoner going down the stair You couldnt be more condescending."

"Men 1 Women 0 If women can do anything men can, how come they've never successfully suppressed an entire gender? Men 1 Women 0....."

"When I die... When I die I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep. Not screaming in pain like the passengers in his car."

"A guy goes to a record store to pick up a Meshuggah CD... but he can't because it's too heavy."

"Chicago really is the windy city. After all, they did just win de World Series"

"Rick Astley will let you borrow any Pixar movie in his collection... But he's never gonna give you Up."

"My therapist told me.. My therapist told me that I have a fear of confrontation. I didn't agree with her but I held my tongue in case it caused an argument."

"Speed dating (Don't say anything embarrassing) ""So do you ever eat raisins and then later poop rehydrated grapes?"" (DAMMIT!)"

"The greatest trick the devil ever played is emailing you & then sending an ""out of office"" notification when you reply like 30 seconds later"

"Two Muslim vampires are discussing the weather... Vampire 1: It's really Sunni outside. Vampire 2: Shiite! Courtesy of my 8-year-old."