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Joke of the Day

"A man got a fortune cookie without a fortune.... ... well that's unfortunate"

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not."

"I just got a great new lab coat! The meat was pretty good too."

"Rudolph is the only reindeer who doesn't have a stripper name."

"Man gets arrested by female police officer A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" The man replies, ""Boobs!"""

"I attempted my first press-up today. Sadly I only smelled defeat."

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar... Sits down and orders a side of fries, the bartender says ""sorry we don't serve food here."""

"How can you tell the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care"

"I have the heart of a lion.. ..and a lifetime ban from the Toronto Zoo"