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Joke of the Day
"Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel? Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep."
Next Joke
"If someone starts talking to you, easily get out of the conversation by nodding while climbing the nearest tree."
"If you're gonna by me a drink..... You better at least push my stool in!"
"Two goldfish are in a tank... ...one says to the other, ""You man the gun, I'll drive."""
"Superman: Who's gonna be Batman? *leaves Earth*"
"What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends? A homie missile."
"My housemate told me to get something to the front page of reddit I should just recycle... It'll take a lot more than that to get me to take the bins out!"
"Dr: We need you to come back for additional blood work... Me: Why, is something wrong?! Dr: Yes. Your blood sample was mostly champagne..."
"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."
"I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish"