104635

Joke of the Day

"Good Cop: *reaches for his gun* Intimate Moment Cop: *reaches for the same gun and their hands touch*"

"This cashier was totally just checking me out, you guys."

"How do you turn a bunk bed into two regular beds? You debunk it."

"[museum tour in the future] Racism and sexism ended in the 21st century, when brave Americans argued it out of existence online"

"How do you make a tissue dance? You blow a little boogie in it."

"What does Sigmund Freud say comes between fear and sex? funf (it helps if you say it out loud, and understand German) :-)"

"What does an IT guys use for birth control? His personality."

"We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker."

"Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend."

"What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator? The shiitalkie mushroom."