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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a tissue dance? You blow a little boogie in it."

"*becomes suddenly aware of the overwhelming amount of beauty and horror in the world and the brief second in time we exist on it* what the"

"My girlfriend is a stoner who works at a hotel fixing whatever breaks. She's kind of high maintenance."

"Who cares if toilet paper is soft or not? Only an asshole can tell the difference anyway."

"I have the heart of a lion.. .. and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo."

"Why'd the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"Osama bin laden *ji had it coming.* - Jimmy Carr ""Big Fat Quiz 2011"""

"I was talking to a nice young women last night, she asked me if I like breast or legs. I told her what I really like is a nice shaved snatch. Apparently I'm not allowed in KFC anymore."

"Why are there windows on the back of French Tanks? So they can watch the battle."

"How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short."