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Joke of the Day

"My friend Dave drowned yesterday his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted."

"What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer!"

"What do you call a man with one arm? Hand Solo"

"Hillary and Bernie walk into a bar... Hillary says that she shouldn't buy the drinks because she is Hillary. Bernie says that the drinks should be free for everyone. America dies."

"Want to know how to make tons of people mad real fast? your about to now how."

"A children's museum SOUNDS like a good idea... ...but I would imagine it's hard to breathe inside those little glass cases."

"What are Isreali candies known for? A jewy center"

"What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum."

"Bruce Jenner winning woman of the year just proves that men are better than women at everything, including being a woman"

"My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra."