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Joke of the Day

"The greatest trick the devil ever played is emailing you & then sending an ""out of office"" notification when you reply like 30 seconds later"

"Daniel said his mother had one foot in the grave The other one had proved to difficult for workers to scrape off the motorway"

"mall santas make me mad becuase its like as if we need another reason to give jobs to old white men"

"Thanks Autocorrect, I did want to bang her braids out."

"What did Ronald Reagan say in his presidential campaign? Electron. Also, what did the Greek warrior say when he saw the wooden horse? Hydrogen ^^^^please ^^^^spare ^^^^me"

"I used to steal jokes.... ....I still do. But I used to too."

"When my wife was giving birth to our child, I asked the doctor... - When can we have sex? He winked at me and replied - My shift ends in 10 minutes, let's meet outside."

"How do you confuse a Republican? Wrap an unarmed black man in the American Flag"

"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."

"So, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, right? I guess that's when the books started getting *dead Sirius*"