8861

Joke of the Day

"Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years."

"Blind Date: SWEET JESUS I DONT HAVE ANY EYES Me: Of course you don't, you're a date Blind Date: WHAT Me: Kind of like a big raisin"

"North Koreans are huge Dark Souls fans They spend all their time praisin' the son."

"So I heard they're demolishing Hitlers house Anne Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't do it already. I hope they step on the gas and burn the place down."

"I added Michael J Fox as a friend on Instagram... He likes every single one of my photos."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks today."

"What is a pirate's favorite class in school? Arrrrrrt class."

"What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese? None, but you can get food poisoning."

"What do a pussy and KFC have in common? They're both finger licking good, and when your done you have a box to put the bone in"

"Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President"