69026

Joke of the Day

"What did Ronald Reagan say in his presidential campaign? Electron. Also, what did the Greek warrior say when he saw the wooden horse? Hydrogen ^^^^please ^^^^spare ^^^^me"

"I invented a new sex position called the JFK I splatter all over her while she feverishly tries to get out of the car."

"I once had an epileptic fit during my turn at a game of charades. Everyone just kept yelling, ""HOW MANY WORDS?"" and ""IS IT THE EXORCIST?""."

"You know youre getting old when Santa starts looking younger."

"Opinions are like assholes... if you get paid to share your opinion with the masses, you probably have a pretty big opinion."

"I should buy a 26.2 sticker! for my nose..."

"[Pours goldfish into aquarium] You're free now ""Mom? You know those are just crackers, right?"""

"Q: What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile? A: An animal that talks your head off."

"Whats brown and sticky? My poster of rihanna."

"If you could create a pill, what would it be for and what would the side effects be?"