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Joke of the Day

"When my wife was giving birth to our child, I asked the doctor... - When can we have sex? He winked at me and replied - My shift ends in 10 minutes, let's meet outside."

"Him: You smell good...what are you wearing? Me: Weed."

"Like a hooker at a truck stop, Twitter goes down every Friday."

"It's gonna be a long day. I can wait to get home and curl up with a good Internet."

"I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to ""clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!"" And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies."

"Guess what happens when you have a vivid dream that you're taking a piss."

"Why did the Crimean run across the Street? Because he was Russian"

"The spider in my shower was probably relieved to get washed down the drain after the view of me he got from that angle."

"Republicans say ""Merry Christmas!"" Democrats say ""Happy Holidays!"""

"Girls on GoneWild Q: Why do girls on gonewild wear panties? A: So that their ankles would keep warm"