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Joke of the Day

"Why did Hitler like his Adidas's? They were made by his distant relative."

"I wonder what it's like to have sex in zero gravity... Or even in regular gravity."

"I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams. It was the finals countdown. :D"

"What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane? Clearly, I can see your nuts."

"I made a miniature lemon-lime pie... It was a little tart"

"Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless"

"I have got the best business idea of 2013, I am going to start Facebook rehab centers throughout country."

"After watching all of M. Night Shyamalan's movies I realized the biggest twist... ...his career has been dead the whole time."

"ME: It would ring, and we would... Answer it. TEENS: but, like, how did you know who it WAS? ME *staring into the distance* We never did..."

"Anger; the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."