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Joke of the Day

"This man is frank and earnest with women... In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman (for a Monday morning pick-me-up.)"

"1. Sits in the bedroom 2. Doesn't leave the house 3. Doesn't go out with freinds My childhood punishments are my adult hobies "

"Waiter! Oh Waiter! Yes, I`d like to know if I have earned any CashBack Reward`sTM with the purchase of my farm fresh miniature cucumber plate"

"A Roman walks into the bar... ...holds up two fingers, and says, ""Five beers, please."""

"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it"

"I told her it's been a while. She told me that was fine. It's just like riding a bike. Now she's mad I checked her for proper inflation"

"I once thought about suicide. Then I realised that there's probably better things to name our child."

"BLONDE ON BLONDE Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel."

"My girlfriend left me when I refused to go the gym with her. It's a shame our relationship didn't work out."

"This is a haiku. This is really a haiku. This is not a haiku. --- --- --- ^^^Edit: ^^^missed ^^^a ^^^word ^^^and ^^^almost ^^^ruined ^^^it."