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Joke of the Day

"How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just pass a law against light bulbs and then wonder why it's dark."

"DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*"

"My films ended with the black and white era. The song-writers gone and the music-directors too. Noise rules."

"Sometimes my memory is not quite as good as my forgettery."

"Sometimes I walk up to a plant and exhale carbon dioxide all over it. Did I save its life? Maybe. Am I a hero? That's for history to decide."

"I was trying to think of a joke about Vietnam.... but then I realized people might find tet offensive."

"America sure is having some bad luck It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground."

"What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand? He went to the second-hand shop."

"They say you've got to spend money to make money. Feel like there's some middle step I've been missing?"

"My pet butterfly got a tattoo of my lower back"