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Joke of the Day

"Emotional Wedding I went to a wedding last week. It was very emotional. Even the cake was in tiers. (Credit to pigoletto on the FUNNY subreddit)"

"All the king's horses and men stand over Humpty. Puzzled, they go back to reading the IKEA instructions."

"[around campfire] ME: *grabs guitar* Hey kids how about a song? KIDS: Yeah! ME: ok *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODI"

"Two blondes in a hole Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""

"[Hospital] Me:How's my dad? Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room ""You've never lived to up to your potential!"""

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"How many beans are in Irish Chili? 239, because if there was 1 more it would be ""Too Farty""."

"Moshe was walking down the street and gets run over by another Jewish driver. The driver speeds away and yells out the window ""Watch Out""! Moshe responds ""Why? Are you coming back?"

"GOLDFISH: i swear i'll have your money by tomorrow GOLDFISH MOBSTER: what money? GOLDFISH: who are you? GOLDFISH MOBSTER: where's my mon"

"A server asked the manager whether she should give a fork or spoon with the customer's mashed potatoes. The manager said ""Personally, I don't give a fork."""