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Joke of the Day

"If there's Noel.... ...then could a king be born in Israel? (If there's ""No L"", how can there be a king born in ""Is-rye-L"")"

"Walking around the kitchen like Pac-Man when you're hungry."

"Can strawberry jam? No, but lemon curd."

"Commissioner: we'll need to stay in touch Batman: ok Commissioner: this stealth communication device will- Batman: LETS USE A GIANT SKY LAMP"

"Picture someone robbing you. Congratulations, you're a fucking racist."

"Did you hear about the couple who accidentally confused window putty with personal lubricant? All their windows fell out."

"Feminists are like prime numbers The only thing that goes into them is themselves."

"Don't leave me alone. Alone: I have a boyfriend."

"Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat."

"A few dad jokes a customer told me. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty."