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Joke of the Day

"Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat."

"What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B? The Marquis de [Sade](http://i.imgur.com/srWEGsC.jpg)"

"The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they're so short."

"Always remember.... A mirror never lies. (Fatty)"

"BlackBerry's are great phones to have if you're time traveling to 2005 and don't want people to know you're from the future."

"WIFE: Carol's hubby gives her flowers EVERY day. I'd LOVE u to do that ME: Ok [next day] ME [giving Carol flowers] No I don't get it either"

"I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want..."

"You would not believe how many times Leonardo Da Vinci had to paint the Mona Lisa before he got one where she wasn't blinking"

"I used to work with this black lady who had one arm and one leg... ...we called her Elbony"

"Two guys walk into a bar... ... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."