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Joke of the Day

"Picture someone robbing you. Congratulations, you're a fucking racist."

"You know, people are a lot like snow... If you pee on them, they go away!"

"HA! [That's close enough.](http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/internet-explorer/downloads/ie-9/worldwide-languages)"

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my cock into my girlfriend's arse"

"Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey"

"I said ""sad face emoji"" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am."

"So we're on for next Friday? Perfect. I'll call you Thursday to reschedule."

"Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it."

"Homophobic means you're scared of your house."

"Little Billy come out to his Dad... - Dad, I think I'm gay. - That's strange, when you were young, you did not seem to like anal sex."